Frustrated and annoyed, I decided earlier today that I am going to start caring a horn around with me when I go shopping for groceries. When I find myself stuck behind two girls gossiping about Britney Spears, instead of politely asking them to move, I will hold my horn in the air and honk it loud. Later tonight after the last stock boy empties his last palette, I will break into the grocery store armed with yellow and white road paint. Tomorrow patrons will find dotted white lines on one way aisles and yellow lines for those aisles wide enough to support two way shopping cart traffic. Customers will no longer stand in the way of my mac & cheese and the store will move like a well oiled machine. There will be stop signs installed and customers will be required to use proper turning signals with their arms. If customers need to back up, they will be required to loudly announce this with a “BEEP BEEP BEEP” noise. The deli will work as a drive-through with two windows (one for ordering your deli items and a second to pick up). The check stands will work like a toll at a bridge or turnpike. Customers will push their cart though a large scanner that will scan all the items at once. Then they will quickly pay with prepaid shopping passes and be on their way. This will revolutionize the grocery store industry, or get me arrested. Either way, it sounds like a good adventure!
I went and got some chinese food to help me feel better. Yes, something about that orange chicken and greasy egg roll helped to ease my haunted mind. I feel somewhat uneasy about even posting this blog because it disturbs me so. So, there is a chance I will not post it. A chance it will be saved on my hard drive and never published.
I don’t remember the course of events that lead to the situation I found myself in. I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn’t wake myself. There was a woman in my apartment. She rummaged through my things and occasionally ran to my bed to try to wake me. I knew she was there. She was looking for something. She has been here before. The first time was about 6 months ago. I had just moved into my apartment. I was laying in my bed and having some crazy nightmares…happens often. I thought my eyes were open, but I knew I was still asleep. She held a cell phone up to my ear. I tried to move but my body felt paralyzed. There was a voice yelling to me through the phone. No matter how I tried, I could not understand. It was either a foreign language or she spoke too fast to comprehend. Then I caught the sound of velcro. You know the ripping sound it makes when you tear it apart. It was that sound I could hear coming from my living room. It sounded like there was someone fiercely tearing velcro—or doing something with a similar sound.
Then I woke up.
Last night my restless brain kept me awake until 3am. Then I went to work this morning at 10:30am. Once I got home from work, I found myself exhausted. My eyes shut. My brain sucked me into a strange world of fast talkers and indescribable landscapes. I wish I could remember my dream’s storyline—or lack thereof. The only part I remember was pretty gruesome. I woke up this evening. Now I’m screwed as far as sleep goes tonight. I may just stay up all night.
I am pleased to announce that nico is being featured on Designers who blog. If you are not familiar with designers-who-blog.com you should really check it out. It’s a fantastic collection of inspirational writing about design. I also want to thank cat for the complement on my blog. It’s funny, sometimes I feel like my soul is drying up. Actually I think my soul did dry up. It morphed into a pile of gun powder. All I need is the occasional spark. Thanks for the spark!
I think that apple and nike should team up to create a new ipod designed for runners. It would work just as any other ipod works. What would make this ipod so amazing would be the addition of the random sound of footsteps closing in from behind. I noticed today while I was jogging that I ran twice as fast when I could hear another jogger behind me. I’m not sure how they would pull it off without it just being annoying- but the folks at nike and apple are pretty smart, I’ll let them figure out the details.
Jacob Two-Two
Everyone should slow down for a half hour on a Saturday morning and watch this show. The animation is fresh and the story lines are actually quite interesting—even for adults. Well, for me at least and I’m often easily amused…
Jacob Two-Two is based off of a series written by Mordecai Richler.
Richler is a Canadian writer—born in Montréal.
I was always a super star student in college. However, I did not do well in every subject. English Lit was one of them. I don’t remember where I read this quote- all I remember was reading it my English Lit class (one of the few things that stuck with me):
Well I am certainly wiser than this man. It is only too likely that neither of us has any knowledge to boast of; but he thinks that he knows something which he does not know, whereas I am quite conscious of my ignorance. At any rate it seems that I am wiser than he is to this small extent, that I do not think that I know what I do not know.
~ Socrates
So I finally got my new site up! It still has a couple things I need to work on— but it is getting there. Take a gander if you dare… lettodesign
